I am truly sorry!

    Most of you that know me, know that I have smoked cigarettes since I was 19.  I smoked up to one and a half (1 1/2) packs per day for the past 28 years.  And most of you that know me also know that, by the grace of God, and through the scientific breakthrough of a prescription drug called Chantix, I was able to quit smoking once and for all.  I followed the protocols, took the medication as prescribed, and was able to wean off cigarettes in the matter of 2 weeks time.  It has been since December 27th, 2008 that I have been smoke free! (Thank you, Lord!)

     A Facebook  friend of mine is thinking of using Chantix, so she asked for advice from her Facebook friends.  She wanted to know the real experiences and successes that people have had using this drug, so I told her my story.  In retelling the story and in sharing how life is now without smoking, my eyes were definitely opened by God to some very strong parallels, messages and conclusions.

     I am a follower of Jesus Christ, but I am not perfect.    I must apologize to the many friend that I have that read my blog if they have ever met someone who said they were a “Christian, Saved, Sanctified, or Spirit Filled”, but really didn’t lead a life that was any different than anyone else.  A true follower of Jesus Christ strives to live daily as Jesus did; by being humble, loving, forgiving, compassionate, sincere, and most of all (to me) by living a life of holiness.  Holiness can be defined as this: US SECURING A NEW REPUTATION through JESUS CHRIST!   I now have a REPUTATION as a former smoker, but furthermore, I am securing a NEW REPUTATION through Christ in that I am giving up my OLD SELF (and my old way of living) and putting on Christ’s way of living. 

    For this to make any sense to you, you have to know where I came from in my life.  I ask that you read my last blog for some of this information in order to understand that I was not a very nice guy to be around.  By God’s grace (getting what I don’t really deserve) and by his mercy (not getting what I really do deserve), I have been transformed.  I am not the same man I was 20 years ago.  This is the reason for this blog.  I owe apologies to many different people who I have offended, taken advantage of, stolen from, demeaned or demoralized, or just made sick because of my apathy towards them.  Just as when I was a smoker, I offended a lot of people with my lifestyle.  As a smoker, all of my non-smoking friends, family, customers and so forth had to tolerate the shear smell of cigarette smoke on my body, in my clothes, in my breath; to you people I want to say “I am sorry” for that.  But even moreso, I am sorry and am truly regretful of my past and ask for forgiveness for my actions against you in my past.  I regret so many stupid decisions I made when I was younger, and only now I am seeing how wrong i was.  I had asked God, through his son, Jesus Christ to forgive me for this stuff 15 years ago, but I never asked those who I had directly offended to forgive me.  Now is that time!   I love all you guys , but moreso, I love God and want to follow what he wants me to do.

Thanks for taking the time to read this!  If you want to talk about anything I’ve blogged about, email me (insurancemanharold@yahoo.com) or IM me on facebook if we are facebook friends! 

Til next time

Harold

It’s Been Awhile

     Sorry I haven’t posted anything in awhile, but you know, I’m only human! I was reminded this in many different ways this week. God always knows how to get the message across to us, but sometimes we are so thick-headed that we only hear ourselves talking and we drown out everything and everyone else. So, where to begin….
A couple of weeks ago, my pastor (and one of the most awesome guys in the world) Dave Bryan, during a sermon series on Being “Transformed” asked for volunteers to help with a sermon he will be preaching on the 10th of Aug. I felt led by that small, but strong voice we can hear sometimes (the Holy Spirit) to help out wherever or however Dave needed me. When we met after church services, he explained what he wanted to do. He wants us to write down our testimony (or in other words how we ourselves have been transformed by God through belief and acceptance of his son, Jesus Christ as our guide and saviour). Then we are to take that testimony and pare it down to 2 simple statements; the first is where we were, the second is how God has changed or “transformed” our lives, then write these each on opposite sides of a sheet of cardboard. 

     I will tell you what…this was a challenge for me!  There is so much bad stuff in my life, that I didn’t want to face any of it, but God had a different plan.  I was forced to confront my lost childhood, lost to the sexual abuse I received at the hands of my father.  I was forced to recall a part of my life between the ages of 18 and 30 that I wanted to completely forget…a time of bad choices, stupidity, bad friends, too many drugs, too much alcohol, too many one-night stands, all in an attempt to find truth or a sense of order in a world that made no sense.  I once figured out that between 1985 and 1990, I spent somewhere in the vicinity of $55,000 just on cocaine.  Money just pissed away as they say!  I even went so far as to become a probationary member of the Warlocks motorcycle gang.  Drugs, sex, booze, bad buddies,  WHERE DID YOU LEAVE ME?  ALONE, EMPTY, LOOKING…

     In an attempt to bring myself away from what I and others (thanks, Bob Harper!) could see I was into, I seperated myself from my biker buddies, I quit doing coke (cold turkey… not recommended unless God is leading the way!!) and started getting my life back together.  It was during this time (Dec.1993) that I met my wife Tammy, a single mom struggling to make ends meet.  We were both looking to fill voids left in our lives and God knew just how to meld those voids.  Through what we at first considered chance meetings, we were introduced to our old home church in Apopka, FL (Westside Community Church) by a friend of Tammy’s (Hi, Wendy White) from a toddler reading class at the library, and then by a friend of mine (Hi, Drew McLain) from our son’s Cub Scout pack who also attended (and still does) Westside.

     Through these friends and others, God turned both Tammy’s and my life around.  We re-learned how to trust God and others, we connected with others who were on this same journey of searching for answers that made sense, we re-commited our lives to God and his work, and we’ve studied God’s word (The Bible) with a renewed interest and understanding.  I started teaching a men’s bible study once in a while until God and my mentors were confident I could lead and teach on a regular basis.  Then, just as everything seemed to be chugging right along, with us gaining speed and growing,  God had other plans!!!  (I could hear him whisper…”Harold, your friends might move to Columbia,SC…regardless of whether they do or not, you and Tammy are going to move up there!”)  COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA!!!!  THAT’S LIKE BEING SENT TO BFE…IT’S A REDNECK OUTPOST OF ATLANTA!!! I am a southern boy, but to me, Columbia,SC was about as far away as Jupiter!  The only person I even knew in Columbia was an old friend who was an assistant coach for the University of South Carolina football team, and Lord knows he was too busy with football to show me around town!  Well, God had all this worked out too!!!!

     God had it all worked out for me to simply transfer up to Columbia with my company because he created the need for another account rep at just that time.  Even in a bad market, God was able to find renters for our home in Florida as well as secure 100% financing for our new home in South Carolina.  God provided a house that EXACTLY met every need we had, and was in our price range.  And God has not stopped providing…

     Now I could go on and on about how great of a provider God is,and I could tell story after story of how we have seen God work miracles in others lives, but my friend, I cannot, nor will I ever be able to convince you to trust God for yourself.  All I can offer you is this..I know what he has done in my life, I can tell you the miracles he has done with me, I canshow you where I’ve come from and I can show you the direction God is taking me and if you are not convinced that God is real, and alive and working in me, I’ll never talk about it again with you!   I simply ask you to give it a try!  Will you do that?  

Let me know either way, if you could!